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  Posted on February 16, 2004                                                                                by Riven

There is something very wrong in the world around me. I'm just not sure what it is. It's on the tip of my tongue, like a once familiar name now forgotten. Sometimes I feel my fingers curling around it, but at the last moment, it slips from my grasp.

I feel it as I sit in church. The words spoken, instead of piercing my heart, echo off the walls around me, numbing me to my very bones. The songs we sing: more words, more meaningless words. At times I do feel different, a quiver runs down my spine, I feel a stirring in my soul. But that is all. Is this really the place I should be? Perhaps it isn't, for if it was I would not feel this way. After all, God can see my heart. He knows how much I long for what is right, for change. But this place, I don't know if change can happen here. No, I don't think it can.

I feel it as I sit in the company of family and friends. Even amidst the laughter. The joy I feel, fleeting; it does not fill, infuse with life. Rather than finding my heart filled, I am left empty. The ache in my heart, though tempered for a few moments, finds me again. Even here among those who I hold dear, those I love, this sense of wrongness is found. Where is their vision? Where is this change that they have told me of? Why have so many left? Perhaps what I need is found elsewhere.

I feel it as I sit alone. I feel it in me. I stare into my soul and what I see reflected there, it frightens me. Or, it should. If I do feel anything, it is but a slight sense of unease. There is no fire blazing in my heart. I feel no passion; no longing for more. I know this is wrong, I know each step I take leads away from and not toward my goal. But I am complacent. I don't care.

But I want to.  I want to yield to this stirring in my heart.  I want to hear His voice, be filled with His joy.  I want to love Him, walk wherever he leads.  I want to live again.

And I can no longer expect everything else to change. If I want to move forward, I must take that first step. But I'm just one person, and I'm scared. I don't know how. So, I'm going to do the only thing I can. I'm going to ask Him.

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Lord Move, or Move Me
FFH / Jeromy Diebler

I can't find the words to pray, I'm a little down today
Can You help me, can You hold me?
I feel a million miles away, and I don't know what to say
Can You hear me anyway?

What I need is for You to reach out Your hand
You have taught me no matter what You'd understand

Lord move in a way that I've never seen before
'Cause there's a mountain in the way
and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move, or move me

I've looked everywhere to find a simple peace of mind
But I can't find nothin' on my own
So I gotta leave myself behind, take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold on to

Lord, I know the only way is through this
But Lord, I know I need You to help me do this

Lord move in a way that I've never seen before
'Cause there's a mountain in the way
and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move, or move me

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with Thee
'Cause I am weak, but Lord, You are so strong
And You know it's been way too long
It's been way too long

Lord move in a way that I've never seen before
'Cause there's a mountain in the way
and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move, or move me