|
|
An Interview with Eber Rosario
|
Welcome to The Tonight Show
I'm your host Chung Lao.
Eber Rosario . I've had the
chance to work with Eber on various skits and this guy always seems to have a knack for
the moment with a funny story or comment. He never
disappoints.
His talent for impersonation
will serve him well as he starts college this month.
Take it away, Eber.
Posted on
September 15, 2004
Chung Lao: Hey Eber, how are you man?
Eber: man...im doin great, just
livin my summer to the fullest before i start college
Chung
Lao:
How does it feel to be done with
high school?
Eber:
im kinda lazy, so in a way it feels
great, but ima miss alot of people...now I kinda feel like
spacey with no farley...u get me?...cool, next question
Chung
Lao:
Where are you going to college?
Eber:
i shall be attending
Cedarville University in Cedarville, Ohio. you might be
wondering, what is a hispanic brotha of color like myself
gonna do in such ambiance. well, ima try to fit in...yea
right, the only colored person on campus tryin to "fit in"
in an "all white" school. well lets not forget the jamaican
b-ball player that goes to that school too, so i wont b the
only colored person...alright next question.
Chung
Lao:
If you come back from Ohio a Cincinatti Bengal or Cleveland Browns fan, I will have to
delete this interview.
Eber:
i give u full permission
to delete this interview if that happens. plus, I never
liked those two sorry teams anyways. redskins all the way.
Chung
Lao:
What do you think of IndaPhatFarm.com?
Eber:
i would say that it is a
very good sight and that it is very informative, but that's
what everyone that u have interviewed said. but on a serious
note, its a good site. i like it.
Chung
Lao:
I know you play soccer, so
let’s get your professional opinion. Is Freddy Adu the real
deal?
Eber:
freddy's good...look at another factor...hes african...foreign
people in general r good at sports...well soccer n
basketball...next question
Chung
Lao:
Explain this picture please:
Eber:
well you've probably noticed
that when i see cameras...well...im just me...if a moment is
gonna b cought...u gotta make it a classic kodak
moment...feel me?..ok next question pleaz.
Chung
Lao:
You seem to have a knack for
funny stories/impressions. Tell us one.
Eber:
well im workin on a
novel. its about a blind racist, midwestern farmer that
didnt like negroes. the story has a twist though, he doesnt
know he's of negro desent. later in the story he gets told
what he really is and he becomes devastated. at the end, he
divorses his white wife. his reason for that was that his
wife was a negro lover. i think its gonna be a hit...sike,
im not doin that, i saw that on an episode of chapelle show
(if anyone was offended by the story, a million apologies).
Chung
Lao:
What passage from the Bible
speaks to you the most?
Eber:
the passage that speaks
to me the most would hav to be prov 15:1. a soft answer
turneth away wrath, but grievous words stirreth anger. it
basicaly speaks for itself and it is so true!
Chung
Lao:
Name someone you admire, and
why.
Eber:
it woul hav to be my man,
bill clinton. well, he prefers when you call him "bubba."
sike, the person i really admire is, are you ready for this
one? r kelly. im joking. on a serious note, the person i
admire is joseph from the bible. he was tempted left and
right to do things, but he overcame the temptations and was
later rewarded by God with a position as 2nd in command.
Chung
Lao:
Who is the funniest man
alive?
Eber: me. and i say it
with confidence. jus playing. it would hav to be...well the
funniest white man will hav to be will farrel. the funniest
black man for me is jamie foxx.
Chung
Lao:
What will you miss the most
about the DC area?
Eber:
everything. the crack
heads by the church liquor store, the violence, wakin up to
gunshots n police sirens...the usual dc stuff.
Chung
Lao:
What is your take on George
W. Bush? Will he beat John Kerry come November?
Eber:
the last time i commented
on this, people started beefin with me. well, from the looks
of it, kerry's high up there, but bush is a good person with
good morals though...by the looks of things, the people
might choose kerry.
Chung
Lao:
Were you for/against the war
in Iraq, and why.
Eber:
i was for, until they
started beheading our men, but our men need to stay there a
lil bit longer though to hold down some "peace." yea there
might not be any right now, but they just need to hold it
down for just a little bit more there. a lot could happen if
they dont stay.
Chung
Lao:
Name some countries you would
like to visit, and why.
Eber:
uk mexico el salvador but
right now id prefer to stay in the us, cause first terrorist
were shankin pilots n crashing planes into towers, then
planes were fallin apart n droppin out the sky in ny, so for
right now id prefer to stay here.
Chung
Lao:
Name your following
favorites:
Eber:
A. Restaurant: best city
buffet up in silver spring
B. Hair Product: Soul
Glow, the jery curl activator..."jus let it shine"
C. Toilet Tissue: cha, cha,
cha,...Charmin
D. Ice Cream: cookies n
cream
E. Car: anything with a bangin sound system and ac
F. Food: got to b chinese
G. Movie (and why): shaft 2000...cause a black man is the
hero...& didnt die 1st.
Also. the movie Life, with eddie murphy and martin
lawrence. they r the funniest
combination. i really dont know y they havnt done another
movie together
Chung
Lao:
What is the role of the man
of the house?
Eber:
to be responsible and provide for his household.
Chung
Lao:
What is the role of the woman
of the house?
Eber:
you are asking the wrong guy here. of course the usual
response a guy is going to automatically give is "cook n
clean", but i dont think like most guys. I'm going to
say be caring, supportive, and provide with what she can.
Chung
Lao:
What is something you can’t
stand in a person?
Eber:
when a person is talking to you, and they hav a huge booger
in their nose that looks like its magically suspended in mid
nostril. and then they proceed to talk to as if every thing
is normal. even when you motion to them. like u wipe your
nose and all they say is, "huh?. then they wipe and it still
just floats there. i also hate when it happens to me and the
person who im talkin to wont tell me and just stares at the
booger as if its gonna get up and do a flip or sumthing...i
prefer when sumone is upfront and tells me. yea you're
probly grossed out, but thats just me.
Chung
Lao:
Will Farrel vs. Will Sasso.
Eber:
will farrel will kill will sasso
in a impersonating contest anytime
Chung
Lao:
Is there any cooking ability
running through those Dominican veins?
Eber:
lets see...ramen's oodles of noodles, ham n cheese, hotdogs,
penut butter n jelly, and pretty much anything canned and
microwavble...yea thats pretty much it...lets not forget my
moms leftovers, im preety good at reheating it. the only
thing i know im pretty good at cooking is white rice.
Chung
Lao:
Do you believe in using a
splintered piece of plywood as the rod of correction?
Eber:
well when u hav a hispanic
mother...u will believe that anything can b used as a "rod
of correction" let me give u the list
1. belt
2. sandle (chancleta) she would
say "buscame la chancleta"...it was then when I learned to
dance.
3. a huge branch also known as a (barita)
4. broom
5. dust pan
6. hangar
7. electric cord
8. rulers
thats all ima give u for now cause
new object come up every day...i dont get hit cause in my
house its survival of the fittest...u got to run or u get
hit...things fly in my house n u just got to learn how to
doge them...or u just get hit...only my hispanic people r
gonna get sum of the spanish though
Chung
Lao:
Are we living in the End
Times?
Eber:
yea we are...we definetely are
Chung
Lao:
Ok. You go to sleep one
night. When you wake up the next morning and look in the
mirror, the following words come out of your mouth: “Hold
Up.” The face looking back at you is that of one Freddy Adu.
You rub your eyes. Nope. Still Freddy Adu. After
searching around a little bit, you find a note on the bed
which states: “TO CHANGE BACK, CLICK YOUR SHOES 4 TIMES.”
What do you do?
Eber:
id waste no time in clicking my
heels...u see how ugly that man looks...his skills r preety
good...but i dont wanna keep his looks man...wut would u
do...im sure ud click yr heals also
Chung
Lao:
Lastly, leave us with a
parting thought.
Eber:
honor God in every thing you do and keep the fear of god in
your life.
Chung Lao:
Thanks Eber. Next up on
The Tonight Show is Blessy Daniel. Stay
Tuned.
Back to the Tonight Show
|
Back Home
| |
|
IPF is not affiliated with a
specific church or denomination. Therefore, the opinions, comments, media and
message board content reflect the opinions of the authors and visitors of this
site, and as such, any questions and concerns should be directed to the
webmasters at
chunglao@hotmail.com.
The Phantom and its logo are
copyrighted to King Features Syndicate. All Rights Reserved.
©2001-2010
Korean Mafia.
All rights reserved. All Movies, Pictures, and other non-IPF content are
copyright of their respective studios/companies. This site is best viewed in
Internet Explorer and the 1024 x 768 screen size.
| |
