Lao: Ify, how’s it going man?
Ify: Everything considered, I’m doing really
well. I thank God.
Lao: Where did you grow up?
Ify: I’m a citizen of the world, born in
Ireland, grew up in Trinidad, Nigeria, Mali, Gambia, NY, DC,
Chung Lao: Pick one word that describes you.
Lao: What do you think of IndaPhatFarm.com?
Ify: Definitely a good site, enjoy coming on
here and posting every once in a while.
Chung Lao: What are your thoughts on George W as his
presidency winds down? How will history ultimately rate
him? Will history treat him kindly as it now does Harry
Truman? Or will history vilify him a la Richard Nixon?
Ify: Bush is in a class, all by himself. A class
which even the teacher is absent. I believe that a movie is
coming out about him. He is, was, and will always be a
JOKE. However, I put as much blame on the individuals that
put him in office for the second term. Was I the only one
that watched Fahrenheit 9/11?!?!?! What part of “…haves and
have nots…” as a base didn’t people understand? He has
turned the USA into a 3rd World country. See the
Lao: Obama or McCain?
Ify: Actually, I think that Bush should
legislate another unconstitutional “Patriotesque” Act, and
seek a 3rd term in office. NO ONE should be
punished with cleaning up this mess.
Lao: How would you fix the current economic crisis?
Ify: There is actually no quick fix. But I
believe that this issue is only surface level and this
country has more to worry about. This country is not only
dependent on other countries for oil, but also brain power.
Either a job line has been automated or it has gone abroad.
Education is a joke and cannot compete with grossly
under-funded “3rd World Countries” where people
actually learn about the entire world and not just their
Finally, if you are going to preach democracy,
free trade, and capitalism, preach consistently during the
bad times as well. Home owners that succumbed to
foreclosure in the thousands were told that they made bad
decisions and should not seek assistance from a government,
now this has backfired and we are asking those same people
that got kicked out of their houses to assist the government
bail out the people that took their homes from them? Should
that even be up for debate? How do you like that Palinesque
answer? Did I dodge the question? LOL
Lao: What job could you absolutely not do?
Lao: What’s the first thing you notice about a person?
Ify: Depends on gender. For a female, if she is
attractive. For a male, I remain cognizant of their actions
and all movements within my peripheral.
Lao: Autobot or Decepticon?
Ify: I would pick neither being that I’m not
informed on either and don’t feel like googling right now,
Lao: Assuming there were fights between the brothers
growing up. Who emerged victorious most of the time between
you, Ugo, Chimde & Ike?
Ify: Fights? What fights? Lol. Lets just say
that world wars took place, normal for a house full of boys.
But we all emerged as losers at the hands of our father and
his unsparing rod.
Lao: What is the most important thing in life?
Chung Lao: List your Favorites.
Not really a car person, but anything sporty.
Fufu and ogbonno soup is the next
thing to heaven. I eat a lot of Nigerian food.
Hmm, I would say working out and watching my favorite news
shows, and Southpark.
D. Countries to visit/re-visit:
Seychelles is a definite, and of course, my homeland, NAIJA.
I don’t eat out.
F. Bible Passage(s):
"....Seek, and ye shall find..." Mathew 7:7
Chung Lao: Name someone you admire and why.
Ify: I admire Cartman from Southpark, he speaks
his mind about any and everything.
Chung Lao: Alright, time to take you back in the day. Tell
us about the consequences of getting to school late in
Nigeria and how you and your bros tried to avoid that.
Ify: Well, there was this mean teacher that went
by the name of “MASTER”. He carried a cane that spanned 5
feet in length, upon entering school grounds late, you
assumed your position on the ground and was lashed
severely. Other reasons for lashes were not going to Mass
the Sunday before, even if you weren’t Catholic, worse if
you were Muslim, having dirty or unclipped finger nails, not
combing hair, not ironing clothes, not polishing shoes, ad
Anyway, we were always ready on time, but no one
dared tell my father to hurry up and drop us in time, that
would have called for a preemptive beating. Plus, we lived
in Lagos where traffic was, well, take NYC, Cali and
Virginia traffic, combine them, and multiply by 10. Your
best bet was to just sleep at school.
Chung Lao: IPF intelligence has learned that you had a
favorite animal attraction at the beach. Tell us about
Ify: Huh!!! If you are talking about the beach
we grew up on, that would be the horses, I loved the way
that the touts used to have their stallions at full gallop
risking the lives of all beachgoers. Or do you mean the
open-market by the beach where some merchants used to give
monkeys alcohol and watch them go crazy? Hmm. Or you may be
talking about something in a swimsuit. Take your pick.
Chung Lao: The Basketball ritual in NY. This we have to
Ify: I see you have talked to Ike, that is the
only way you know of this. Anyway, we used to watch a tape
called “NBA Superstars”….Everyday. We would then go outside
and try to emulate the moves of MJ, Dominique Wilkins,
Hakeem, etc. Even the morning during the first day of this
years tournament, we listened to the soundtrack… ”You take
my breath away” that was sung during MJs part, talk about
getting hype!!! That tape is where I got all of my
flamboyant moves back in my prime.
Lao: New York, New York vs DC. Where do you stand?
Ify: Of course I will back my DC brethren.
Lao: Tell us about those skills in the kitchen.
Ify: Well, being a bachelor, I was left with no
option. I can hold my own.
Chung Lao: Describe the ideal wife.
Ify: One that can cook, clean, and shut up. Oh,
sorry, I thought you said “maid”. Ideal wife would be one
that gets along with my family, everything else will work
Chung Lao: Describe the ideal husband.
Ify: Chris, haven’t really taught about this. I
don’t think this will be pleasing to my earthly and heavenly
Chung Lao: Describe the ideal ham and cheese sandwich.
Ify: Chris, are you running out of questions
here? What is going on?
Lao: What is something you cannot stand in a person?
Ify: I’m a very tolerant individual. People are
who they are. Their actions only bother you if you pay
Chung Lao: The Gburg UnderDAWGs have risen consistently from 2006-2008.
What do you attribute this to?
Ify: Breaking off ties with DC. Focus and
determination. Playing to win.
Chung Lao: How satisfying was the win over DC (which
coincidentally was the 2008 BSC Game of the Year)?
Ify: To be honest, it really wasn’t. I wanted
more of a blowout victory to diminish any doubts, but will
make sure of that for next year. I always knew we could
beat DC and didn’t show our full deck of cards until the
tournament. It also helped a bit that they didn’t respect
us, that turned them into panic mode when the game was on
Lao: Using your crystal ball, what do you forecast for the
UnderDAWGS in 2009?
Ify: I forecast a schedule including DC,
Chicago, Philly, Texas and Brooklyn. We are coming back for
that perfect season record and the Championship.
Chung Lao: There are rumors circulating about a possible 3rd
team from Maryland being formed, splitting off from Gburg.
What are your thoughts on this?
Ify: Gburg is great!!! Don’t be scared to leave
something great because you fear something great cannot
happen twice. I’m all for “Self-Actualization” LOL. But
this should be done for the right reasons. There are 12
open slots for the Gburg 09 squad, so if you practice hard,
you can make it. Furthermore, there is no harm playing a
supportive role and learning the fundamentals of the game,
in time, the rock will be transferred.
Chung Lao: Are we living in the End Times?
Ify: We have always been living in end times.
Jesus comes and people are raptured everyday. When you die,
that is your end time.
Chung Lao: Describe the ideal church, even if it’s not
Ify: A church that basis its teachings on the
Bible, and not culture. One that is transparent. I actually
go to one now, Jesus House, Baltimore. Check it out.
Chung Lao: Alright, it’s the night before the 2009 BSC.
After stretching out, you hit the sack with thoughts of a
championship season for the GBURG UnderDAWGS. As you rouse
yourself to sleep the next morning, your senses are
overwhelmed by the smell of rotting flesh.
As you jolt yourself awake, you find yourself near several
half eat carcasses of what appears to be mid size
dinosaurs. You jump to your feet overwhelmed and
incredulous to your surroundings.
Then the ground begins to shake. To the left, the trees
begin to move violently. Something lets out a bellowing
roar. In the span of 3 seconds, a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex
bursts through the foliage. Apparently you are standing not
too far from the tyrannosaur nest, and the mother
tyrannosaur isn’t too happy to see you.
Holding nothing but your favorite basketball in one hand,
and your Gburg Jersey in the other, what do you do?
Ify: Alrighty then, first thing that comes to
mind is how I can use my business savvy and spare my life.
I would put the jersey on the dinosaur, and name her as a
starter for the tournament, giving her the ball. I will
then convince her that I am but one man and I can take her
to Gaithersburg where she can consume the flesh of the
beings on the 7 other teams. It will be a bail out plan
anyone will go for.
Chung Lao: Lastly, leave us with a parting thought.
Ify: Name, Ifeanyichukwu, meaning: With GOD, ALL
things are possible…..Believe that.
Lao: Thanks Ify, appreciate it. Next up on
David Miller of the group Ndelible! Keep it locked in.